Steady in the Chaos

Hola! I know it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. Let me give you an update on my life.

My squad, Gap K, is at the beginning of their 3rd month on the Race. They spent 2 glorious months in Cambodia and then traveled safely across the world to Honduras. They are safe and settled into their new ministries and will stay there until the end of December. I’ve never been to Honduras but from what they’re telling me, it’s glorious! There are beautiful mountain ranges and majestic views. And some chilly weather! Gap K sweat their body weight in Cambodia, so I know they are loving that! It honestly sounds like a dream!

My life for the past 2 months has been kinda…crazy, for lack of a better word! I went to Cambodia and spent a month there with Gap K! Then I came back to Georgia and have since been at work in the Adventures in Missions headquarters! My job is fast paced and ever changing. No day looks the same, and I am thankful for that. However, in the midst of what felt like chaos, I was beginning to question whether or not I could do it. I was left constantly wondering why I was having such a hard time keeping up with life, in general. Why did everything feel so hard and why couldn’t I keep up?!

To give you some background, I have been home from my own World Race for almost exactly ONE YEAR! First of all, that feels strange and not real. How in the world has a year already flown by?! I really think time goes faster the older you get. So for the last year, my life has been a series of transitions. Just one after the other. I came home from the Race, went back and forth to a few places, had a part time job, and then made the HUGE decision to move across the country. This was a big deal for me. I was leaving sweet Texas and all I’d really ever known. But I knew the Lord was calling me and I wanted to be obedient. However, I am finding that transition and change doesn’t come easy. I think it’s time we consider all that transition and change brings, and allow it the weight that it really does carry.

I found myself feeling frazzled and confused. I realized there was a lot of change going on but I just couldn’t pin point why I was struggling with it! I found myself questioning the Lord and wondering where He was in all this.

God, in the cool way He always does, started to show me that He was right there beside me. You see, God is steady. He really doesn’t change. He stays the same yesterday, today, tomorrow and all of eternity. It’s hard for us to comprehend that, but it’s true. He began to show me that He was was walking beside me but I wasn’t necessarily taking the time to look up and see Him right there. I don’t know about you, but I find great comfort in knowing that I serve a God who is unchanging. I’m thankful for a God who speaks. And a God who steadies the waves, even when they feel out of control.

God is pleased with us, as we are. He created us. He looks at us and doesn’t need us to perform. I found myself trying to come to Him and perform and show Him how good I could do. He gently continues to remind me that He does not need nor does He expect performance. He just wants us to come with a willing and pure heart, and He takes care of the rest. Wow. Even as I type that I continue to be blown away by that Truth. He doesn’t need me. But He uses me. He CHOOSES me. This is true for you, too.

We don’t have to fear the transition and the change. They are inevitable. For me though, I had to make the choice to remember how steady and unchanging my God is. That’s what I want my eyes to always be on.

This blog may be all over the place, but I’m okay with that. I wanted to share all of this with you because maybe there is someone else out there that needs to hear it just like I did. 

Until Next Time. All my love.

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I am so very grateful for every one who has given and everyone who continues to pray for me. I am thankful beyond words.